By Barbara Greenwald
Staff Writer

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The circle was formed of persons who were not bound together. She had taken them (from) here and there in society, but so well assorted were they that once there, they fell into harmony like the strings of an instrument touched by an able hand ... Nowhere was conversation more lively, more brilliant, or better regulated than at her house."      - "Memoir of Marmontel," quoted in the Internet Modern History Sourcebook

During the historical period known as the Enlightenment, a phenomenon called the salon sprung up in 18th-century France. During that time, the leading figures in society—all men—often met together at the homes of powerful women who were close to the French court, where they would discuss the issues and ideologies of the day.

This is the second time Barry Watsor and Phillips Taylor have attended a Delightful Dining event. At each event, there is time before dinner for participants to mingle.

What made the French salons noteworthy were the women who ran them. To ensure that the right mix of men and women were placed together at these gatherings, the hostess made it their business to know their guests well and to introduce them to like-minded people. Under their guidance, conversations always were lively and ideas flowed freely. In a way, the 18th-century salon was the "Starbucks" or "Cheers" of its time.

A somewhat similar organization exists right here in modern DuPage County. It started out with five members and its first meeting drew 36 people. Today, the group numbers 300 and holds two or three events every month. It's called Delightful Dining, and its patrons believe that it's the best kept secret in the Western suburbs.

OK, so Delightful Dining isn't exactly like a French salon. The group accepts members of both sexes (that's largely the point) who are more interested in having fun than forging philosophies to live by. But its organizing principle is based on the same elements that made the salon such a historical phenomenon—the like-mindedness of its members and the personal attention of its facilitators.

"This is a personal club, not just a business," said David Bugniazet, who founded Delightful Dining with his wife, Bonnie Lewis, a little over two years ago. "Our members really know that we do take an interest in them."

Bugniazet and Lewis, both divorced, met at a Chicago-based singles dinner club, which they described as an "awkward" event. It wasn't long after they started dating that they came up with the idea of starting a dining club in the Western suburbs, the kind they would have rather attended that evening.

Bugniazet said when he and Lewis sat down to write their business plan they knew exactly what they wanted, based on their own experiences. They promised themselves they would get to know everyone in the group.

"(People) just don't want to plunk their money down and enter a room," Bugniazet said. "(That) could end up like a high-school dance: boys on one side, girls on the other." To avoid those awkward moments, the couple does its homework. People interested in joining Delightful Dining must first have a number of phone conversations with Bugniazet for what he calls "screening."

"We don't let 'players' and 'gamers' in," he said, explaining that they only want honest, grounded people in their club.

"It's so unlike the bar scene," Lewis added. "It's not a meat market."

Members and guests are also prequalified by a questionairre that inquires about their age, interests and hobbies. Lewis uses the information to assign seats at the club's dinners and events. The first thing a participant does at a Delightful Dining event is pick up a name tag that also indicates where he or she will be sitting that evening.

"Preassigned seating minimizes the feeling of being left out." Bugniazet said. It also ensures that an equal number of men and women end up at each table. There is a balanced number of men and women in the group, most of whom are in their late 30s and 40s.

Another important aspect of a Delightful Dining evening is its setting. Bugniazet and Lewis dine at every restaurant they consider before organizing an event there.

"The restaurants are a vehicle to bring everyone together. It's important that the setting be comfortable," Bugniazet said. "Both genders have a stigma about walking in alone, unaccompanied, but we have people telling us how comfortable they feel after the first 20 minutes."

Joining the table

Cathy Glasgrow and Ernie Diorio share a table during a Delightful Dining dinner. The hosts of the club seat people with similar interests and hobbies at the same tables.

A recent Delightful Dining event at Brandon's Charhouse in Naperville attracted about 70 people—even though it was a Friday night before Memorial Day weekend. It didn't take long for the small banquet room off the restaurant's main dining area to fill up with groups of chattering men and women drinking cocktails and making small talk.

An attractive thrity- or forty- something blonde enters the room and looks around nervously. Almost immediately, Bugniazet walks up to her and introduces himself.

"Finally, I can put a smile and a voice together," he said.

Over in another corner a slightly older gentleman spits out a string of Henny Youngman-type one-liners to a woman standing beside him. Soon, they are joined by another woman, whose laughter rises above the dinner as their conversation becomes more animated.

"I've done the bar thing. To me, this is a much more comfortable setting," said Don Singleton, a 48-year-old divorced stockbroker from Naperville. "I like the group. ...If nothing else, you make a lot of friends."

"I wanted to meet other women to do things with," said Lynn St. Germain of Warrenville, a divorcee who was attending a Delightful Dining event for the second time. "In fact, I got a date out of it—first time out I got a date."

Lisle business consultant Renee Conrad, 47, said she tries to attend events that offer either the kind of food or activity that she likes. She already has signed up for the Oak Brook polo match and the boat trip off Navy Pier in Chicago, both scheduled for this summer.

"I travel a lot so this is good for me," she added.

By the time dinner was served, about an hour into the evening, everyone in the room had "unwound." As water glasses were filled and baskets full of warm bread were placed on the tables, conversations became lively and intriguing—almost as if they were taking place in an 18th-century salon.

"Politics, religion, philosophy, anecdotes, news, nothing was excluded from the conversation..."
     - "Memoir of Baron de Grimm"

(Article re-printed from the Naperville Sun, Fri., June 9, 2000 - Photos by Kye-Ryung Lee / Staff Photographer)


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